So I just displeased myself by watching probably one of the dumbest movies I have had the unfortunate chance to see. This movie is……….(ready for it?) 2012. I honestly knew going into this movie that it was going to be the same as every other “end of the world” movie that has came out in the past. Seriously though, Roland Emmerich needs to stop making movies ASAP. He just seems to have this horrible formula that is stuck with his so-called “craft” of making movies. Let’s take a brief look at his past “achievements” in movie making history. Back in 1996 this cat released a little movie called Independence Day. Now if that doesn’t tell you what is yet to come with his movies, I don’t know what does…. this movie was just about as corny as it gets. Next, we have the much anticipated, hyped reboot of Godzilla. If you even remotely liked that movie then you obviously have shitty taste or no taste at all. Then we have of course the infamous Day After Tomorrow which is your typical “end of the world” movie with a typical “end of the world” plot. Does the world end in that one? –NO, Does everyone miraculously meet each other by going on some crazy crusade through a frozen United States- YES. I mean seriously dude, your stories cannot get any better. Then, we have 10,000 BC…I don’t even want to get started on this atrocious piece of shit. As you can see Roland Emmerich has a horrible track record of the some of the shittiest movies ever. The only two movies that are even worth mentioning are of course the original Stargate, which was pretty decent despite Kurt Russell being a retarded military jock, and The Patriot, which I really can’t say anything bad about.
So just to give you guys a run down of how ridiculous 2012 actually was I’ll give you some mental notes I took while watching this movie.
--Why would you have the “end of the world” star be John Cusack, is there really no hope in casting a somewhat decent actor? His acting is almost even more sub par than Nicolas Cage----and that’s a bold statement if I do say so myself
--The acting was so shitty that it was even hard to believe that these people even cared that the world was crumbling right before their eyes
--What was seen to be the noblest act and turning point of the film turned into a huge train wreck of a situation. I mean you try and save people from dying and be sensitive but honestly in these types of movies they just wind up sending you up shit’s creek with no paddle.
--Just when the plot thickens and you honestly think they have no hope in saving the human race, we find out that the Chinese have been building “Arcs” in order to rescue as much of humanity as possible. Oh and did I mention that these “Arcs” are literally the size of Texas and everyone has luxurious rooms as if it were a fucking Carnival cruise ship and they can just so happen withstand any impact ever? (C’mon man!)
--The “Arc” ship smacks right into MT. EVEREST and still survives after being tossed around like a rag doll…wow right?
In particular I recall this one scene where John Cusack’s whole family is locked in a compartment somewhere in the ship and the water is rising and they’re having a full blown conversation introducing themselves to their so called “rescuers.” (I don’t know about you but I would cut the chitchat and get the fuck out of dodge.)
--There’s a Russian Businessman throughout the movie that sounds even dumber than a blackout drunk Sylvester Stallone.
So again, recapping on what I said before, this movie is a total shame. Don’t even waste your time like I did watching it. That is unless you like really cheesy movies and your stupid. The one thing I will say that was decent about the movie was the Special FX and some of the Sound Design. However even some of the ADR was screwed up.
In conclusion, Roland Emmerich has tried ending the world numerous times and he still hasn’t got the right formula. The only formula he has right though is
Bad Actors + Terrible Script + Plus Horrible Directing + Awesome Special FX = Great Movie?
